Notorius NPC: Joey Gills

Hello Mutant Neighbors. Welcome to the final day of our series highlighting some of the survivors living in my Mutant Future neighborhood. Today's neighbor thinks of himself as a powerful crime lord with designs of controlling the region's black market. Can you say "sadly incompetent?" Sure you can!

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Joey Gills
3rd Level Mutant Human

STR: 9 --- INT: 7
DEX: 6 --- WIL: 15
CON: 11 --- CHA: 9
HPs: 37 --- AC: 8
Mutations: water breathing, shriek, teleport

Joey Gills is a short, squat mutant human with a fish-like face and delusions of grandeur. Taking his inspiration from old holovids of "Goodfellas," "The Sopranos,"and "The Jersey Shore" (as well as a few Dick Tracy comic strips), Joey Gills has begun setting himself up as the leading crime lord for the city he resides in. However, Joey Gills is neither smart nor strong, is a coward when confronted, and can't formulate a plan to save his life. He runs a small black market operation, trading and dealing in weapons and contraband. However, most of the weapons he has are either junk or underpowered, and his "contraband" are whatever scraps and bits he salvages from ruins and steals from the unwary.

Joey Gills is weak in a fight, receiving a -1 to hit penalty when using a ranged weapon. Most of his wares are misidentified because of his -5% Technology Roll penalty when figuring out devices. However, he does have a fairly strong WIL, as his ego and self-delusion carries him through most social situations. Joey Gills may have two or three "henchmen" that follow him and do his bidding, but they will be even less intelligent and more cowardly than Joey Gills.

As a mutant fish-like being, Joey Gills is able to breath underwater through his water breathing mutation, staying underwater indefinitely. He uses this ability to escape when needed. Joey Gills can also release a piercing shriek if cornered, allowing him time to escape during the confusion. Joey Gills also has the ability to teleport, but because he is cowardly, he only uses it to escape to a well-hidden hideout rather than for any other kind of travel. In other words, Joey Gills uses all of his mutations only to runaway when the going gets tough.

Joey Gills is horrible with names, so he has the habit of giving nicknames to everyone he meets, calling everyone "Joey Something." A mutant plant may be "Joey Greenleaves" or a dual-headed mutant would be "Joey Two-face." Two other speech patterns Joey Gills has is that he talks about himself in the third-person all of the time. He also patterns his speech after Ancient mobsters and wiseguys, speaking with a cliched New Jersey accent. ("Yeah, Joey Gills ain't likin' dis at all. Youze guys better watch it, that's all Joey Gills gotta say 'bout dat.")

Joey Gills will work with the PCs if he feels there's a profit to be made or if it will bolster his reputation. He may have inside info on criminal dealings in the area as well as connections in the underworld (who view him as worthless and laughable). Joey Gills will not befriend the PCs as they aren't worthy to be members of his "crew," but he may be useful as an informant as well as a weapons supplier -- if the PCs aren't too choosy and if they can give him something he wants. Threats don't really work on Joey Gills, as he'll teleport out of the area the second he fells he's in danger. But buttering him up and stroking his ego will work wonders. "Youze guyz are all right. What can Joey Gills do fer youz?"

Hope you enjoyed this visit to...