Welcome to our second Mutated Monday in October! As the weeks pass, the mutants will become bigger and more powerful. Today, we present a tribe of unerring marksmen...er, make that "markshorses."
No. Enc.: 1d6 (4d6)
Alignment: Lawful
Movement: 150' (50')
Armor Class: 4
Hit Dice: 7
Attacks: 1 (As weapon)
Damage: As weapon
Save: L4
Morale: 10
Hoard Class: VI
Hidden amongst long-forgotten valleys and deep in impenetrable forests are small tribes of the most formidable long-distance warriors who ever lived. These horse-headed mutant humans are called the "Pwnee," which is pronounced both "POH-nee" and "PAH-nee" (in honor of their equine heritage as well as their tribal upbringing). The tribal name is also spelled in this manner as the Ancients used this term to honor those who were talented in the arts of gun-wielding.
Pwnees live in small groups away from larger cities and villages, preferring to keep to themselves and away from the petty issues of the world. Pwnees live in a simple tribal-like way, answering to one tribal leader (usually the oldest of their tribe), and residing in temporary lean-tos and tents. Pwnees are very nomadic, often moving several times within a year as the seasons change and/or the hunting thins out. Although Pwnees are not antagonistic toward strangers, they do not trust them either for reasons explained below.
Pwnees are renowned for their marksmanship with any kind of long-distance weaponry. It is said if a Pwnee can see you, he can kill you if he wishes. All Pwnees are armed with either an Ancient firearm or primitive bow and arrow, which they use with near-supernatural accuracy. Pwnees have increased dexterity, giving them both a high AC as well as a permanent +3 to-hit bonus with any ranged weapon. This makes them dangerous. What makes them deadly is when they trigger their ability boost mutation. When activated, a Pwnee's DEX skyrockets and their AC becomes 2 and their ranged to-hit bonus becomes +5 for 10 rounds. It's said a single Pwnee can decimate an entire army from a distance during this hyper-focused time. However, Pwnees avoid any close-ranged combat, as their pain sensitivity defect makes any injury unbearable.
In the early days of the post-Apocalygeddon, Pwnees associated with remaining pockets of civilization and were often hired as snipers and assassins by warlords and bandit leaders. Many lives were lost due to Pwnee triggermen. However, these same warlords and leaders came to fear and distrust Pwnees due to their talents, and -- fearing a takeover -- the Pwnees were usually killed themselves once their target was eliminated. Eventually, Pwnees withdrew from society due to the constant threat of double-crosses, and now the tribes trust very few outside their ranks. No one dares to attack a Pwnee camp, as the invaders would be killed before they got very close. Even visiting a Pwnee camp is risky as the visitors will be in someone's crosshairs the entire time.
It's said there may be a handful of Pwnee guns-for-hire still roaming the wastelands, but anyone who could confirm this rumor has been found dead of a single bullet to the head, so this rumor remains unconfirmed.
Mutations: increased dexterity, ability boost, pain sensitivity
Classic D&D Adventures in Real World Settings
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Lately I've been thinking about how well some classic adventures might
adapted to real world settings. By real world, I mean historical
fantasy--I'm not...
Love the name!
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Snazzy. And hilarious!
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